you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize