And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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