Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
