His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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