i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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