I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
