i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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