WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
