we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
