if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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