well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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