Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
