I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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