so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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