We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
