He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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