My ATM looks so different sober.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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