i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
