Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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