He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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