broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
