So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
