If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
