Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
