OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
that's an acceptable place to lick
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
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just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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