'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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