I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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