Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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