He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
