so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
