im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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