You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
