i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
