I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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