I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
