I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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