i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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