We're facebook friends in real life
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Found your dick twin last night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
