I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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