The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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