he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize