ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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