I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
