guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is it because I queefed?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
