hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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