I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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