Ketchup is God's man juice
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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