I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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