The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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