that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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