You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
