she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
