puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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