so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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