but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
