I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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