I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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