Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
