Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
