OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
