it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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