Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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