jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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