tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's always time for handjobs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize