Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize