just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
